<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Ain't Love a Bitch? by MiddleofNowhere92</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538648">Ain't Love a Bitch?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleofNowhere92/pseuds/MiddleofNowhere92'>MiddleofNowhere92</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Bitch-verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Comfort/Angst, Drug Addiction, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Modern Era, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Addiction, References to Depression, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Social Anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:35:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleofNowhere92/pseuds/MiddleofNowhere92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Teo and Haru had a brief fling in college. Teo started to catch feelings and did what any reasonable person would do- he panicked and never talked to Haru again. </p><p>For Teo, Haru is the one that got away. Maybe the universe will take pity on him and give him a second chance. </p><p>------</p><p>Written as a sequel to/spin-off of Being a Bitch is My Kink but can stand alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haru &amp; Teo, Haru/Teo (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Bitch-verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Me & Your Ghost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ohhh boy guys. This one's a doosy. </p><p>If you arrived here via my Kinktober fic, Being a Bitch is My Kink, please understand the tone of this fic is completely different even though they are in the same universe, so it may not be for you.</p><p>This should be able to stand alone from that fic though.</p><p>Trigger Warnings for past alcoholism, past drug use, anxiety/panic attacks, depression, and social anxiety.</p><p>The lyrics at the beginning of the chapter are from the song Me &amp; Ur Ghost by Blackbear.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm not alone. It's just me and your ghost and this cripplin' depression. I thought I learned my lesson..</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The last time I had slept with Haru was five years ago. The last time I had talked to him was two years ago at Sokka’s wedding. The last time I had seen him in person had been a year ago at Sokka’s birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first two years of college, Sokka had been my best friend, my ride or die. We told each other everything with absolutely no filter. We had both been computer science majors and clung to each other to survive the courses. He had been with me when I first started messaging and then later sleeping with Haru. Sokka had actually met Haru’s best friend, Zuko when I forced Sokka to be my wingman. Zuko and Sokka probably fell in love the moment they met. Me and Haru? At the time I had said he was too nice. Too ready for commitment. Too respectful. Like what a load of shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had been instantly attracted to him the minute I saw his tindr profile as a sophomore in college. He had been a senior at the time and he was a big dude that I knew would bend me over and screw my brains out. But unluckily for me,  he was more than that. He was genuine and kind and caring. Everything that I never was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been fast from the start. We went from not knowing each other, to a one night stand to fucking multiple times a day for weeks straight. At first it had been just sex, but he had managed to sneak in some tenderness. He made sure I took care of myself, but not in like ‘oh you’re a helpless handicap person,’ but more like, “Hey, I like you and I want you to eat breakfast and not get alcohol poisoning.” It was the way I needed to be taken care of at the time and I had pushed it away, like a fucking idiot. He had taken me on actual dates and had treated me like his actual partner from the beginning. I missed the quiet moments with him on the used couch in that nasty fucking house he shared with Jet and Zuko on campus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like the more he cared about me, the more I resisted him. I ignored his calls and texts and ran right back into the arms of my on again, off again, on again, off again hook up, Hahn. Hahn and I had always been toxic, our dark spirits played well together and we brought out the absolute worst in each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, surprise, surprise, Hahn ghosted me and then I was left with nothing. Sokka had never liked Hahn from freshmen year. He tried to keep it to himself, but I could see the irritation on his face whenever I so much as mentioned him. So I stopped talking to Sokka. I didn’t want to see the judgement and hear about how happy he was with Zuko. Suki and Toph had always been more Sokka’s friends so they disappeared from my life too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My mind was completely haunted by Haru as I went through the rest of my sophomore and junior year. Everywhere I looked and went was some reminder of him. I had tried everything to numb the pain- drugs, sex, alcohol and/or a cocktail of all three. It would make me forget for a few hours maybe, but I would come to feeling shittier than ever and wishing he was there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The only person who didn’t give up on me was Ty Lee. Her, Sokka and I had been a bitchy little clique wreaking thottiness all over campus. She was the definition of persistent. She called, texted and stopped by my dorm even if I completely ignored her for weeks or months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was the one that had found me at my lowest- drugged out and blacked out. She was the one who called the ambulance to get my stomach pumped. She was the one who helped me find a rehab and she was the one that encouraged me when I pleaded with the University not to kick me out. But since I was a fucking troll, I did my best to push her away too. She had seen so much of my shit- how could she still put up with me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka tried, he really did. He continued to invite me to all his major life events. I only went because Ty Lee would nag me incessantly. I would stay until the anxiety kicked into overdrive and it felt like if I didn’t leave something horrible would happen. I never looked up and tried to meet Haru’s eyes when I did attend. Ty Lee had sworn over and over that she hadn’t told anyone, that she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Sokka. I knew she wouldn’t, but I also knew that no one had to tell Haru anything. He would just know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back now, I wasn’t ready to meet him when I did. I was too immature for what he had offered me. But cut me some slack ok? I was twenty fucking years old. I barely knew my face from my ass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What I wouldn’t give to meet him now, now that I was older, now that I was ready, but he had surely moved on. I mean why wouldn’t he? We had only fucked around for a few weeks. A blip in time. He was a pro athlete now, he probably had people lined up that wanted him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had to block/unfollow him on every social media. I less subtly did so with Sokka and Zuko. The video of their engagement went viral. I couldn’t tell you too much about their wedding. I fled half way through and had a panic attack as soon as I was outside.They were too happy, their obnoxious posts were a reminder of the life I could have had if I didn’t fuck everything up with Haru. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, when I couldn’t take it, I would google him to see what he had been up to. Turns out he was still fucking perfect. Like fuck me. What a surprise. This year him, Jet and Zuko all finally got traded to the same team, but Haru was way more lowkey than Zuko or Jet. He always had been. I did dig around a little bit to find pictures of him volunteering with kids with disabilities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And of course he had gotten better looking as he got older, which seemed even more fucking unfair.  He was still big as ever- 6’2 and 220lbs according to ESPN. He was still built, his muscles had muscles at this point. His hair had gotten a little longer, but he still wore his lucky green headband. The one thing I couldn’t find from my hours of online stalking was if he was dating anyone.  But I was sure he was. I mean he had to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was pathetic. It was years later and I still thought about him all the fucking time. I would think about him around Halloween, since that was when we met. I thought about him any time I was getting fucked, because no one had been able to fuck me like he had. I thought about him when I was eating take out for the fifth time in the week, because he had been such a good cook. I thought about him when I was in bed alone, because I fucking missed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of these thoughts bounced around my head in a million different ways every day. Now that I was mostly sober (I wasn’t gonna give up drinking and soft drugs. What the fuck do you think I am? A monk?) I had no choice but to hear them constantly every day and every night. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Back to December</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>It turns out freedom ain’t nothing, but missing you..</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pushed myself into the physical therapy office. I came about twice a week now, just to maintain the  function I did have in my legs. I turned to get myself checked in, when Meng, one of the physical therapists called out, “Give me a sec Teo. I’ll be right with you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded absentmindedly as I signed in. I glanced up as a large person loomed over me. Meng was a tiny peanut, so it wasn’t her. I looked up, ready to tell off whoever was in my way, but my words died before they ever left my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He scratched the back of his neck, “Uh, hey T. How’s it going?” I gulped and couldn’t really remember how to formulate words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully Meng’s voice called, “Teo, I’m ready for you!” I pushed myself around him and proceeded down the hall. Once we were a very, very safe distance away I asked, “Uh, Meng was that- was that Haru Yan?” She rolled on the yoga ball she was sitting on, “C’mon Teo patient confidentiality.” I threw her a look. She stage whispered, “He’s pretty hot in person huh?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shook my head and thankfully she let it go. We went through our normal hour of exercises. It occurred to me as I was stretching that PT appointments were set at the same time every week, which meant I would be bumping into Haru every week for the foreseeable future. That was definitely not going to work for me. Hadn’t the spirits tortured me enough for one lifetime?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I flew like a bat out of hell to the receptionist desk. Song smiled up at me. “Hey Teo, see you at the same time next week.” I shook my head and some of my hair fell in my face. I swept it away, “Song, I have to change my appointments. Can we do early in the morning? I don’t know, whatever your earliest appointment is. Hopefully, some awful early hour where I would be highly unlikely to run into anyone I know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Song’s eyes darted across the screen and her finger clicked aggressively against her mouse. She bit her lip, “Sorry Teo, we’ve been pretty booked up. If something opens up, I’ll give you a call okay?” I sighed, “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to get through the waiting room and his bright green eyes were on mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. Who did I have to pay off to get these spirits off my damn back? I pushed myself through the waiting room and out the doors. I heard his footsteps behind me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Te-” I stopped abruptly and turned to face him, “What Haru? What is there possibly to say?” His hand grabbed at the back of his neck. It was crazy that he still had the same nervous tick five years later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look T, I just- I don’t know, I just wanted to see how you were doing.” I swiped some hair out of my face and gestured with my hands as I spoke, “I’m fine. You’re obviously doing perfectly fine, I’m so glad we caught up Haru. Let’s never do this again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started pushing myself away. I didn’t think he would follow, but after a minute I heard his footsteps. His deep voice grumbled, “Why are you being like this? What did I do T? I mean, I know I screwed up, so tell me what I did that you hate me this much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up at the clear sky and repeated, “What did you do? </span>
  <em>
    <span>What did you do? </span>
  </em>
  <span>You really think you screwed up?” His voice dropped and he scuffed the concrete with his sneaker, “I obviously did. Why else would we have ended up like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out a breath, “Haru, it was so obviously me that fucked up. I was a dumb fuck twenty year old that was scared. I mean how could you think you did anything? You were perfect. You always are. You always have been.” I hadn’t intended for all of that word vomit to spew from my mouth, but now I couldn’t take it back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His green eyes looked down at me. He stood with his hands on his hips. One of his large hands rubbed at his face. He looked down at his watch and it gnawed at me. What? Was my outburst at an inconvenient time for him?  He had literally waited for me to be done with my appointment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes flicked back up to me, “Are you seeing anyone?” I shook my hair to get my bangs out of my face. I needed a fucking haircut. I glared up at him, “Are you serious?” He held his hands up, “Look, sorry-” I butt in, “I’m not- I’m not seeing anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me, “Put your number in. I’ve gotta get going, but we can catch up sometime, if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I typed my number in and handed the phone back. He looked at me, “It was good seeing you T.” I rolled my eyes, “Really? I feel like this was a traumatic experience for both of us.” He let out a small laugh and gave a wave as he walked towards his car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned to head to my apartment and I might have glanced over my shoulder to get a peek at his ass. What? It was still a nice view.  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song for this chapter is Back to December by T-Swift.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>